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Excerpt: Charlie the Sex Addict Meets 4 Hookers

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SCENE: JESSICA AND CHARLIE AT HOME


JESSICA
All I do is I sit on the phone all day and I lie to people. And the more lies I tell the more money I make, and my boss loves it. They want you to lie. It’s so shady. It’s gotta be illegal. I’m not going back there tomorrow. There’s just no way. I’m sorry. I don’t think I should go back. I don’t think it’s good. What do you think?

CHARLIE
I think you’ve lost interest in me.

JESSICA
Did you hear what I said?

CHARLIE
When we first met we were unstoppable...all the time...in the middle of the night...before work...in airplanes...in the car...

JESSICA
Is it always about sex with you? Is that really all you think about? I am trying to talk to you about my job.

CHARLIE
Your job is to have sex with your boyfriend...that’s your job, too.

JESSICA
Charlie, you are sick...you are addicted...you are a sex addict...if it was up to you we’d have sex 24 hours a day...it’s all you think about...I haven’t lost interest in you I’ve lost interest in your penis...I don’t need to have sex every single night...but you do...and I don’t know what to do about it...you’re like a teen age boy...when did you stop maturing...you’re like an adolescent...I want to talk about the economy and you want to talk about sex...I want to talk about the Middle East but all you care about is sex...I need to talk about my job but all you want to talk about is sex...I want to talk about buying a house and you want to talk about sex...sex, sex, sex...It’s all you think about...I’m sick of sex...I want more...I just want to kiss sometimes...don’t you ever just want to kiss....no you don’t... cause every time we kiss you want to turn it into a blowjob...we can’t even cuddle because you get a big hard-on and you start rubbing it on my leg like a little dog...I worry about you...seriously...you need help.

(He gets up...puts on his jacket..)

JESSICA (CONT’D)
Where are you going?

JESSICA (CONT’D)
Where are you going? Charlie, where are you going?

CHARLIE
I’m going out...because if I stay here I’m gonna punch you in the face and I don’t want to go to jail for domestic violence.

JESSICA
If you punch me in the face I won’t call the police, I’ll punch you back you stupid mother-fucker...bring it on!

(He looks at her shocked. He leaves. Jessica is alone. She mutters something to herself that we can’t quite hear. She gets up and leaves.)

 

   
       
         
 

 

Scene: Henry Interviews Vicky

VICKY
I’m gonna go to school...I’m not gonna do this forever...I’m not stupid...a lot of girls kind of lose it and get hooked on drugs and all that but I know what I’m doing. It’s nice to be in control of your life. I am in control. I love it. I do.

HENRY
I believe you.

VICKY
No you don’t. I hate when people don’t believe me.

HENRY
I believe you.

VICKY
Ask me if I’ve ever been arrested.

HENRY
Have you ever...?

VICKY
No, I have not. Ask me if I’ve been raped or beaten up or hit?

HENRY
Have you ever been...?

VICKY
No, I have not. Ask me how much I make?

HENRY
How much money...?

VICKY
I make 300 dollars an hour. 300. Dollars. An Hour. Now you look at me and you tell me what problems I have. I see your speechless. Does that mean we’re done?

 

      
         
 

 

SCENE: TINA AND CHARLIE
Charlie is all in black: black turtleneck, black ski mask, black pants,black shoes.


TINA
...I’m just not comfortable...I don’t mind a little rough sex.... but the ski mask...I just...It’s just not my thing...I’m sorry...the ski mask is freaking me out.


CHARLIE
What if I take the ski mask off?


TINA
So you want to fuck me really hard, you want to pretend to choke me and you want me to act like I’m really dying and then after I’m dead you’re gonna take pictures of me and then your just gonna leave? Is that basically, right?


CHARLIE
But you really have to look dead or it doesn’t turn me on. Can you lie really still and act like your dead?


TINA
I’m not an actress.


CHARLIE
Just lie really still. You can do that, right?


TINA
I guess.


CHARLIE
Ok, perfect. Oh and I’m gonna use this knife, but it’s just a toy...it’s from Toys R Us.


TINA
I don’t like it...


CHARLIE
I just want to pull it out and see you be afraid of it...


TINA
I don’t like it.


CHARLIE
Well I need to threaten you with something...you know...I want you to be scared...


TINA
I don’t like it. Just use your voice. Just act scary and I’ll be scared.


CHARLIE
Fine...I’ll be back within the hour...and don’t lock the door.