11 SCENE: AMEER AND GINO
GINO
Okay Marco, the coast is clear.
Marco enters.
GINO (CONT'D) (cont'd)
Marco, this theatre is over 90 years old.
MARCO
Yeah and so are half the customers.
GINO
This reminds me of the old Park Theatre
in Toledo Ohio. Did I ever tell you about
the first time I ever stripped in a place
like this.
MARCO
About a million times Gino. Please, give
me a break. If I wanna hear stories from
the 20s I'll call my Grandma.
GINO
Whats wrong with you today?
MARCO
I'm just nervous.
GINO
Oh relax, Marco your gonna be fine.
MARCO
No look at me I'm totally out of shape.
GINO
You're in perfect shape
MARCO
Look at these abs. It's embarrassing. How
long until I'm on?
GINO
5 hours and 43 minutes.
MARCO
Holy shit.
He jumps down and starts doing push ups.
MARCO (CONT'D) (cont'd)
Come on Gino help me out here. I need
some resistance.
Gino gets in a weird looking position that makes it look like
the two of them are fooling around. Ameer rolls by with mop.
Stops. Looks. Is shocked.
MARCO (CONT'D) (cont'd)
Harder.
GINO
I'm pushing.
MARCO
No harder, I cant feel it.
Ameer exits.
GINO
Jesus Christ cant we do this later.
MARCO
No I need it right now. Come on, sit on
me. Yeah that's it. Yeah, that's good.
Harder. Yeah pefect. Great that should do
it. Agh!!!
He collapses on floor then gets up.
MARCO (cont'd)
I feel better all ready. Thanks! So
what's the story here anyway?
GINO
About what?
MARCO
About cops. Can I do the beer bottle
trick or not.
GINO
Marco, its New York City. Anything goes
but jay walking.
MARCO
If I get arrested, your dead you here
me.
GINO
Marco, your not gonna get arrested. That
was Texas and it was a long time ago.
Besides if the cops show up and you've
got a beer bottle hanging out your ass
just tell em you've got a very serious
drinking problem. They'll understand,
they're Irish.
12 SCENE: GREG CALLS HIS MOM
Greg steps out of a booth with his cell-phone, dials a
number, puts the phone up to his ear and waits for a
response.
GREG
(on phone)
Hey, Mom, I can't talk long I'm on a
break. No. No. No. People are being weird
today. I'll explain it later. So, how ya
feeling? Did you take the medicine? You
didn't? Mother what did I say? How do you
expect to feel better when you won't take
your medicine? I don't want to argue
either. No, you said you'd take it you
should take it. Just take your medicine,
what else can I say?. I love you too but
you're making me cray. And you wonder
where I got my stubborness from, you're
worse than me. I know it makes you drowsy
thats what it does, it's got codein in
it. Okay, I can not debate this right now
with you, I got to get back to work. I
will call you in one hour and we will not
have this conversation again. I love you,
too.
13 SCENE: AMEER AND BRIAN AND GINO
BRIAN
Ameer.
AMEER
Not now Brian, I'm very busy.
BRIAN
Ameer, just one minute.
AMEER
What?
BRIAN
I'm really sorry about yesterday and
everything. I know you think I'm an
asshole. But I don't want to cause
problems for you. I really like you,
Ameer, you know that, right?
AMEER
Brian, what would happen, if for one day
only, you do no drugs. Just for one day,
what would happen?
BRIAN
I don't know.
AMEER
Just think about it.
BRIAN
Okay I will.
AMEER
You know Brian, you are an asshole.
BRIAN
I know.
AMEER
Say it.
BRIAN
Say what?
AMEER
Say, "I am an asshole."
BRIAN
(In a Pakistani accent)
I am an asshole.
14 SCENE: MIKE AND BRADLEY DISCUSS
MIKE
Do you think I'm an asshole?
BRADLEY
Mike, listen to me.
MIKE
No, tell me honestly. Do you think I'm
an asshole?
BRADLEY
Mike, some guy gives you a handjob, you
give him ten bucks. What's the big deal?
You jack off, don't you?
MIKE
Don't you?
BRADLEY
And do you always think of Kevin?
MIKE
I never think of Kevin.
BRADLEY
That's why it's called a fantasy, Mike.
Because you're fantasizing. Everybody
fantasizes. It's no big deal. You don't
think Kevin fantasizes about having sex
with other guys?
MIKE
No.
BRADLEY
Mike, of course, he fantasizes. It's
completely natural. Jacking off with some
guy is hardly sex anyway, believe me. I'm
telling you it's no big deal.
MIKE
So you don't think I'm an asshole.
BRADLEY
No, I think you're stupid, that's all.
MIKE
Why am I stupid?
BRADLEY
Because only an idiot would let his
boyfriend find peep show tokens in his
pockets.
MIKE
So what should I do?
BRADLEY
Buy him orchestra seats for Chicago.
He'll get over it.
MIKE
You really think that'll work?
BREADLEY
It worked the last time, didn't it?
15 SCENE: KEVIN CALLS BEST FRIEND
KEVIN
(on phone)
It's so typical, Larry. He is such a
typical faggot. They say they want a
relationship but the minute they get one
they fuck it all up. He probably thinks
he does want to be monogamous. But he's
fucked up, gay men are fucked up.
They are, they're just fucked up. You
know they're fucked up.
(beat) )
What do you mean, "How's the sex?" I
think it's great. I think he thinks it's
great. Maybe he's lying about that, too.
I don't know. The whole thing just makes
me want to throw up.
MIKE
Kevin, I'm here.
KEVIN
Oh my god, speak of the devil.
MIKE
Kevin.
KEVIN
I'll call you later.
Kevin hangs up.
MIKE
Kevin.
Mike enters with bouquet of roses.
MIKE (cont'd)
These are for you.
KEVIN
You ever watch "Jerry Springer"? You are
so pathetic.
He walks past him. Mike is left standing alone on-stage.
Kevin yells, as loud as he can:
KEVIN (cont'd)
Get in here!
Music Cue-White Wedding
16 SCENE: WHITE WEDDING
The Curtain pulls on as the men are walking on-stage into
place. Bradley, Shane and Janet, in that order from SR, with
briefcases. When they reach their places on-stage, they take
off their suits, put on different outfits. Shane is in
leather and chains, Janet is in lingerie and a dress, Bradley
is in vinyl.
Opening Music-All enter with briefcases in left hand.
Action-Walk DS to SL of boxes.
Action-Switch briefcases to left hand and place on
Action-Adjust ties.
Action-Snap open briefcases and open up tops.
Action-Layout outfits-bodies facing SR.
Lyric-Hey little sister what have you done
lyric-Hey little sister who's the only one
Lyric-Hey little sister who's your superman
Action-Jackets open and off. Fold neatly and tightly.
Lyric-Hey little sister who's the one you want
Lyric-Hey little sister shot gun!
Action-Jackets in briefcases, nicely so that you don't
Lyric-It's a nice day to start again
Action-Ties off.
Lyric-It's a nice day for a white wedding
Action-Ties in briefcases.
Lyric-It's a nice day to start again.
Action-Right sleeves unbuttoned/left sleeves unbuttoned.
Lyric-Hey little sister what have you done
Action-Take shirts out of pants.
Lyric-Hey little sister who's the only one
Action-Top shirt buttons undone and con't to work down.
Lyric-I've been away for so long (so long)
Lyric-I've been away for so long (so long)
Action-Shirts off.
Lyric-I let you go for so long
Lyric-It's a nice day to start again
Action-Shirts in briefcases.
Action-Shoes off.
Lyric-It's a nice day for a white wedding
Action-Unbutton pants.
Lyric-It's a nice day to start again.
Action-Open pants and slide down.
Action-Pants in briefcases.
Instrumental
Action-Free-for-all in getting into outfits and packing up
briefcases.
Lyric-Pick it up.
Lyric-Take me back home
Action-All 3 men are pick up their briefcases and prepare to
go in to the booth..
Music Cue-Whatta Man
17 SCENE: WHATTA MAN
The Curtain reopens to reveal the men standing in their booth
doorway. The White Wedding men turn around and see them, turn
back to the audience and smile, then run into the booths.
Booths start rotating. When dialogue is going on, only that
booth should face audience. During each chorus, the booths
revolve to new positions.
A. Brian and Shane Dialogue:
SHANE
So, what's your name?
BRIAN
Brian.
SHANE
No, your real name.
BRIAN
It's Brian.
SHANE
Nobody uses their real name here. I wanna
know your real name. Tell me your real
name.
BRIAN
Richard?
Shane gives him money.
SHANE
So where are you from, Richard?
BRIAN
Kansas.
SHANE
The city or the state?
BRIAN
The city.
SHANE
You're from Kansas City?
BRIAN
Yeah.
SHANE
No, you're not.
BRIAN
I really am.
SHANE
Tell me where you're really from.
BRIAN
I did.
SHANE
Do you want more of this?
(Brian nods yes)
Then you tell me where you're really
from.
BRIAN
Miami?
Shane gives him money as booths revolve.
Chorus plays while booths spin.
2nd verse:
B. Greg and Bradley Dialogue
BRADLEY
Are your eyes real?
GREG
Excuse me?
BRADLEY
Are those really your eyes?
GREG
What do you mean?
BRADLEY
You don't wear color contacts?
GREG
No.
BRADLEY
That's your real color?
GREG
It's my real color.
BRADLEY
God, you're amazing. You really are.
You're amazing. I bet guys come in here
all the time and tell you how amazing you
are. Don't they? They do don't they? You
can tell me. I won't be jealous.
Do they?
GREG
Bradley.
BRADLEY
Oh my god.
GREG
What?
BRADLEY
Say that again.
GREG
What?
BRADLEY
My name. Say it again.
GREG
Bradley?
BRADLEY
Oh god, the way you say my name.
GREG
Bradley.
BRADLEY
Don't make fun of me.
GREG
Bradley.
BRADLEY
Oh man, stop it.
GREG
What?
BRADLEY
You know what.
GREG
What, Bradley?
BRADLEY
Do you know my cock is rock hard right
now?
GREG
Bradley.
BRADLEY
I swear it is rock hard.
GREG
Really.
BRADLEY
That's you, man. You did that. Do you
have a boyfriend?
GREG
No.
BRADLEY
Would you like one?
Chorus and booths revolve.
3rd verse:
C. Robert and Janet Dialogue
ROBERT
Stand up. Turn around. Will you lift it
up for me, Janet?
Janet starts to lift the dress up.
ROBERT (cont'd)
A little higher. Come on, Janet, don't be
shy. Oh my God, I'm gonna tell you
something right now. Can I tell you
something?
Janet nods "Yes."
ROBERT (cont'd)
This is gonna be our secret, you
understand right? You are the most
beautiful woman I've ever been with. Kiss
me.
Janet leans in as if to kiss her through the glass, then
rears back and spits at her.
ROBERT (cont'd)
Lick it up! Lick it up!
At end of scene the booths revolve twice, first time they are
kissing, the second time they are exchanging money. When
booths are completely turned around the peep show men appear
in their booth windows counting their money. The other men
sneak out the back of the booths. When the men appear back in
their windows, Gino and Marco enter.
18 SCENE: GINO SHOWS MARCO THE STAGE
GINO
So you'll already be on the stage before
the curtain opens. The music'll start to
play and that disco ball right there will
start spinning. Then you'll hear Ameer
start to introduce you. He's gonna read a
list of your credits, then finally he'll
go "And now Marco Rossi". Then you'll
come out, and the crowd will applaud you,
well hopefully. Don't forget, it's a gay
audience, they hate everything but
hopefully they'll applaud.
MARCO
They better applaud, remember when we did
the Nob Hill in San Francisco and I came
out and they just stared at me, what was
that about.
GINO
Oh please, those bithches in San
Francisco think, they've seen it all. You
can't impress them. But this is New York
City baby. It's a party town. Its gonna
be great. Just relax and have fun!
MARCO
Didn't you use to strip in San Francisco.
GINO
Oh, that was years ago! I headlined the
campus theatre. But it was different back
then. We use to put on shows. I'd come
out, the room would be full of hot guys
I'd take my dick out, get rock hard. I
had a cowboy outfit I use to wear and it
came off piece by piece, and I'd go in
the audience and let them all undress me.
Then I'd put alcohol on the floor and
light it up and I'd perform behind the
fire. Its all true, oh Marco, those were
the days.
MARCO
Didn't you use to bring a T-Rex on stage
and fuck it.
GINO
I'm not that old.
MARCO
Well you act like it was 100 years ago.
GINO
It feels like it was. Do you know who
Jack Wrangler was?
MARCO
No.
GINO
What about Richard Locke? Casey Donovan?
Kip Knoll? These guys were great
performers. They loved it. But now days,
ugh...I was at the Gaiety the night Joey
Stefano collapsed. It was sad.
He came out, did a few moves and then
bam. Down he went.
MARCO
That's why I retired Gino. You get over
it. It's not fun anymore. It's just work.
You bust your ass and then the check
bounces. It's bullshit. How many
poroducers did I work with who didn't
give two shits about me. When I got
arrested in Texas nobody bailed me out. I
sat there all night, by myself. Have you
ever spent a
night in jail?
Gino shakes head no.
MARCO (cont'd)
It changes you. It makes you think about
things. You find out who your real
friends are. After that I was burned out.
I needed a break. I was done. But when I
was retired, I'd get fan letters from
people saying they missed me and that
really afffected me. Every time I read a
fan letter I got revved up. They changed
me. They got me excited. I'm different
now. I'm ready to perform again. I'm like
Barbra Streisand in Las Vegas. I'm like
Cher at Madison Square. I'm like Tony
Danza on Broadway. I'm a new man. Imagine
how Susan Lucci felt after winning the
Emmy. Like she could tackle any thing.
And now she's gonna take over for
Bernadette Peters in Annie Get Your Gun.
And she cant even sing. But that doesn't
matter. It's all about confidence. And
that's what I have back. My confidence!
Gino I'm telling you, I feel rested, I
feel good and I'm ready to have fun. I
wanna enjoy myself. When I go out there
tonite I wanna knock the audience over. I
wanna shock them. I wanna show them that
it doesn't have to be the same old crap.
Don't worry, Gino, your gonna see a real
show tonite. Your gonna feel like your
back in the old days. If everybody in
that audience isn't turned on you can
keep my paycheck. After tonite, you'll
see, I'm ready for anything. Maybe
even...Hamlet.
GINO
Oh my God, that's brilliant. How bout an
all porn star production of Hamlet. It
would make a fortune.
MARCO
I could play Hamlet.
GINO
Ryan Idol could be Horatio.
MARCO
Rex Chandler as Oephalia.
GINO
And Jeff Stryker as the old dead ghost.
There's a theatre in San Francisco, the
Victoria Theatre, it's old and crappy,
but dirt cheap. We could open there then
tour the country. What do you think.
MARCO
I think you're a genius. That's it, I've
decided. Tonite will be my farewell
performance as a stripper. No more cum
stained covered walls for me. I'm going
legit. Hamlet, starring Marco Rossi. I
like the way that sounds. And then we
could make it into a movie.
GINO
Directed by Kenneth Branagh.
MARCO
Do you think he'd do it?
GINO
After, Wild Wild West. What choice does
he have?
19 SCENE: AMEER INTERVIEWS STEVEN
During scene Ameer is mopping stage while they talk. Steven
stands center stage and watches him.
AMEER
Some of the men are really nice and some
of the men are really not.
STEVEN
But it's safe right?
AMEER
Oh yeah, it's safe, of course. But I'm
just telling you, some of the men are
really weird. Some are really scary. Some
will tell you they want to cut you up in
little pieces. Some will call you names.
And some will ask you to move in with
them. Never give out your phone number.
Well it's your life, you can do what you
want, but we're not responsible. If some
guy offers you a bunch of money for your
phone number and begs you to spend the
night and you go home with him and you
get high and the next day you end up
floating in the East River, it's not our
problem. You understand?
STEVEN
Some guys end up floating in the East
River?
AMEER
No. If, I'm saying "if" you end up in the
East River.
STEVEN
But somebody ended up in the East River?
AMEER
No, but if you do, it's not our problem.
Steven Just be careful, that's all I'm
saying. Talk to the other guys, they will
tell you.
STEVEN
Are they friendly?
AMEER
some of them are. Some are straight, too,
so, you know. Are you straight?
STEVEN
Yeah.
AMEER
You're straight?
STEVEN
Pretty much.
AMEER
What's that mean, "pretty much."
STEVEN
I mean, I'm straight.
AMEER
So you don't like men at all?
STEVEN
Do you?
AMEER
Oh no, I am straight too. I have a
beautiful wife in Pakistan. I hope to
bring her here one day.
STEVEN
You're from Pakistan?
AMEER
Originally, yes, now I live in Queens.
STEVEN
Where is that?
AMEER
Queens? Just across the river.
STEVEN
No. Pakistan.
AMEER
Oh, far away.
STEVEN
What's it like?
AMEER
No, no money.
STEVEN
Oh.
AMEER
So, where are you from?
STEVEN
Oklahoma.
AMEER
Where is that?
STEVEN
It's far away, too.
AMEER
So why do you come to New York?
STEVEN
Have you ever been to Oklahoma?
AMEER
No.
STEVEN
It's awful.
AMEER
So what you do in New York?
STEVEN
I'm going to school.
AMEER
Oh, what you study?
STEVEN
Biology.
AMEER
What's that?
STEVEN
Biology?
AMEER
Yeah, what's that?
STEVEN
It's like about the body and stuff, you
know the study of life.
AMEER
Oh, okay. So are you ready to work?
STEVEN
Yeah, right now.
STEVEN (CONT'D) (cont'd)
Well, how much money can I make?
AMEER
Oh, everybody's different. Depends on
what you do.
STEVEN
And there's definitely glass between me
and the customers?
AMEER
In the booth, yes.
STEVEN
Yeah, I only want to work in the booth. I
don't want anyone touching me.
AMEER
You don't like to dance?
STEVEN
I'm not a good dancer.
AMEER
When you do lap dances, you make a lot
more money.
STEVEN
I'm just not comfortable.
AMEER
Steven, the booth is good, but you make a
lot more money doing the lap dances.
STEVEN
How much more?
AMEER
A lot more.
STEVEN
I just don't think I'm comfortable doing
that.
AMEER
Okay, if you change your mind you just
let me know. So are you ready now?
STEVEN
To work?
AMEER
Yeah?
STEVEN
I wasn't expecting to work today. I
didn't bring any clothes.
AMEER
That's okay, we'll take care of you. You
wanna try?
STEVEN
Right now?
AMEER
Sure right now.
STEVEN
I guess.
AMEER
Steven, Don't worry you'll be fine.
STEVEN
Where do I go?
AMEER
Okay, you come with me.
Music Cue-Working Day and Night
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