SCENE: ANITA SHOOTS ANNIE-ANNIE TELLS HER STORY
Annie enters and sets up her photo equipment...loads her
camera...finally...
ANNIE
You ready? Nita? Nita?!
ANITA
Yea.
ANNIE
(walks in)
You ready, Nita?
ANITA
Maybe.
ANNIE
(setting up the camera) )
Nita, Nita. Anyone else ever call you
'Nita'?
ANITA
No.
ANNIE
It's cute though, you like it? Nita.
ANITA
No.
ANNIE
Well, you look beautiful, Anita.
ANITA
Thanks.
ANNIE
You ready?
ANITA
I don't know.
She drops the robe.
ANNIE
You have a beautiful body. How do you
feel?
ANITA
I feel naked....
(beat)
...exhilarated....shy...awkward...excite
...nervous...ugly...
beautiful....naked. This is so public.
I'm not public. Being nude with you is
one thing, but having
my...everything...in a book...on the
counters of Barnes and Noble...
ANNIE
O.K.
Puts back on the robe.
ANITA
I'm not that way. I'm not like you.
ANNIE
Anita, we'll do whatever you want. We
can take a series in this robe for all I
care. Now, I usually have people talk
about themselves.
ANITA
What about?
ANNIE
Your body. How you feel in it? People
usually think I want to see their great
parts. But I love the imperfect parts.
The bump on the nose. The scar on the
cheek. I always say that, "Our body's
are maps of where we've been."
ANITA
So where have you been? Tell me.
ANNIE
I prefer to listen.
ANITA
Tell me about your scars? Your
imperfections? Where have you been?
ANNIE
Where haven't I been? I ran around with
an Arab Sheik as part of a harem. We had
these wild parties in Tangiers.
I shot a movie in Alaska...in the
snow...called Eskimos Do It Too...I shot
a movie on an old pirate ship...Pussy
Pirates... I interned with Larry Flynt.
I danced topless for six months in
Melbourne, Australia That was fun. What
else?
ANITA
Was it all just fun and games, Annie?
ANNIE
No. Not all of it. I was married...that
wasn't fun.
ANITA
Married?
ANNIE
I married one of my directors. Sam
Meyers. What an asshole. It's very easy
to get married but divorce is a little
trickier.
ANITA
You're a married woman?
ANNIE
Well not for long, I hope.
ANITA
I'm dating a married heterosexual woman.
ANNIE
Not exactly....
ANITA
Is this your mid-life crisis? What are
you taking a test run with me? I've
tried it with a man. I think I'll try a
woman now. Then, maybe a sea turtle."
ANNIE
No.
ANITA
And when I'm done with women maybe I'll
move on to...
ANNIE
To what?
ANITA
To what? Exactly. To what? I'm not
experimenting. I know what I want. I
want a Mercedes.
ANNIE
What?
ANITA
I'm sorry. That was weird. Forget that.
I'm a little overwhelmed.
ANNIE
I'm not experimenting, Anita. I know
what I want, too. I was on a set,
Anita...I remember I was on a porn
set...in a dirty studio...in the middle
of Burbank...and I was lying on my
back...and I was looking up and there was
a picture in front of me. A
painting...And the picture was of these
two women having tea...And they were
wearing white Victorian dresses and
holding parasols...And I remember
thinking, well this shouldn't be here,
this beautiful painting...not on a porn
set...not in Burbank...and I'm looking at
this picture and I notice that these two
women are holding hands...And the image
is so intimate and so loving and so
peaceful...And I thought, God, I'll never
have that. Especially with Sam. I'll
never have those quiet moments...The
trust...the intimacy. I'll never have
that...at least not with any men I
know.
.and then I meet you...and it
happened...I found it...what else do you
wanna know?
ANITA
I'm just shocked. I can't believe you're
married. It's just very, Anne Heche.
Kim enters.
KIM
Am I interrupting?
ANNIE
No, no come in.
KIM
Annie, I need to talk to Anita, do you
mind?
ANNIE
No, not at all. Wow! You look great.
Is that a new outfit?
KIM
Yes it is. Thank you for noticing.
ANNIE
Well, I'll just leave you two alone.
ANITA
I adore you...
ANNIE
Still?
ANITA
Of course!
KIM
Byyyyyyye.
ANITA
Bye...
ANNIE
Bye.
Annie is gone.
ANITA
You look good.
KIM
Thank you, I feel good.
ANITA
So what's up?
KIM
I'm leaving Lois.
ANITA
Oh God, no.
KIM
Oh God yes. It's a good thing. She's
hateful, I deserve better.
She hasn't looked at me in years. Look
at me, Anita, I need someone to want me.
I want to be touched by someone else.
Someone besides myself and besides Lois.
ANITA
Who?
KIM
You.
ANITA
Me?
KIM
Is that shocking?
ANITA
You don't want me.
KIM
Yes, I do.
ANITA
No you don't.
ANNIE
Why not?
ANITA
I'm your best friend.
KIM
That's why it's perfect.
ANITA
But Kim, I'm dating Annie?
KIM
Annie? You just met her. She's a porn
star. Porn stars don't date.
ANITA
We're dating.
KIM
You're just having sex.
ANITA
No Kim, we're dating.
Kim looks at her watch.
KIM
Well how long do you see it lasting?
ANITA
What are you talking about?
KIM
Well like a month, three months, six
months, a year, can you make an estimate?
ANITA
No, I can't give you an estimate. She
makes me very excited.
KIM
And I don't?
ANITA
Not the way she does.
KIM
(after a beat)
Well, will you keep me in mind?
ANITA
For what?
KIM
For us! For later. After you've finished
with Annie.
ANITA
Kim, have you lost your mind? I can't
have a relationship with you like that.
You're my best friend. I don't think of
you sexually.
KIM
Why not?
ANITA
What do you mean,"why not?" Because I
don't.
KIM
(long pause)
Well fuck you too!
Kim storms out. Anita is dumbfounded and shocked.
SCENE: BUD, GLORY AND LOIS
GLORY
Bud? Bud? Bud are you home?
BUD
Hey, Glory. What's up.
GLORY
Look what I've got. Free passes for the
Castro, tonight. They're playing the
director's cut of Desert Hearts.
BUD
What's Dessert Hearts?
GLORY
Oh my God, child. You are soooo young.
It's a wonderful movie about women and
love and the dessert.
BUD
It sounds boring.
GLORY
Oh no it's not. It's action-packed.
They go to the dessert they have
sex...they learn about themselves. It's
very exciting.
BUD
I'm sorry, Glory. It just doesn't
interest me.
GLORY
Do I interest you?
BUD
Of course.
GLORY
No. Really? Do I? We never spend
anytime together. I feel like a pest
sometimes.
BUD
I've just been busy.
GLORY
Don't lead me on, Bud.
BUD
I'm not.
GLORY
I'm too old for games. If you need some
space just tell me. It's okay. Really.
I'm strong. I can handle it. Tell me.
BUD
I need some space.
GLORY
You do?
BUD
I do.
GLORY
Why?
BUD
Why what?
GLORY
You're 22. How could you need space?
BUD
Cause you just said...
GLORY
I didn't mean it.
BUD
Oh.
GLORY
Are you telling me to buzz off.
BUD
No, not at all.
GLORY
But you just said you need some space.
BUD
Because you asked.
GLORY
But you said yes.
BUD
Did I hurt your feelings?
GLORY
Of course you did.
BUD
I'm sorry.
GLORY
You're telling me to buzz off.
BUD
I don't mean it like that.
GLORY
Oh my God...I'm being dumped. I feel
like I'm back in high school.
BUD
I didn't know we were dating.
GLORY
You didn't?
BUD
No.
GLORY
I thought you knew.
BUD
I'm sorry.
GLORY
I did your laundry.
BUD
That means we're dating?
GLORY
I wouldn't just do that for anybody.
BUD
I'm sorry, I didn't know.
GLORY
I'm so embarrassed.
BUD
Don't me embarrassed.
GLORY
I am such a fool. Okay I need to go.
I'm really embarrassed!
Uh...do me a favor. Don't call me, okay.
I need some space.
Glory leaves. Bud shuts door. Lois enters from bedroom.
LOIS
You're very popular.
BUD
I feel bad for her.
LOIS
How did she get in here in the first
place?
BUD
I never lock my doors.
LOIS
Why? Anybody could just walk in. We
could have doing it on the kitchen floor.
We could get caught.
BUD
So...
LOIS
I don't want anyone to get hurt.
BUD
I think that's unavoidable.
SCENE: GLORYS PHOTO SHOOT
Annie, Anita and Glory are setting up for Glorys photo shoot.
Glory is dressed sexy but elegantly, envelpoed in a big white
feather boa.
ANITA
And then she goes, "I'm in love with you
what are you gonna do about it?" She's
in love with me and she wants me to tell
her what I'm gonna do about it. I mean
she's crazy.
ANNIE
I think it's kind of refreshing. I wish
more women were like that
ANITA
No, you don't!!! Believe me, it was
totally awkward. It sounds refreshing but
it wasn't it was completely embarrassing!
GLORY
I dated a women like that once. It turned
me on. She was slightly psychotic. She
was really dramatic. She'd cause these
scenes in shopping malls and we'd get
kicked out and on the way home she'd
blame it all on me! And then we'd get
home and have great sex! The crazy ones
are always the best in bed. It's true!
ANITA
Maybe you and Kim should get together!
ANNIE
Okay, should we get started?
ANITA
Are you ready?
GLORY
Ready as I'll ever be!
ANITA
You're so fearless.
GLORY
No, I'm not. I just act that way. It
keeps me going. I just spent the last
two days crying.
ANITA
Crying? Glory, why? What's wrong?
GLORY
Nothing. It's boring. Nothing a good
cry couldn't cure. Nothing I can't
handle or haven't already handled, but
just can't understand why I keep
repeating my same old tired patterns.
But I guess we all do right?
ANITA
Not me. I'm perfect.
GLORY
Yes, you are, Anita.
ANITA
I'll let you two get to work. Have fun!
Anita exits.
GLORY
Oh, I feel like a stripper.
ANNIE
Okay, one of the things I like to do when
I'm shooting is to get you to talk. Who
you are? What you think? How you feel
about yourself? How you feel about your
body.
GLORY
My body? I love my body.
ANNIE
Tell me about that scar, right there.
GLORY
That's not a scar. That's a stretch mark.
I had a baby.
ANNIE
Oh, my God.
GLORY
I was the Prom Queen.
ANNIE
No!
GLORY
I married the Prom King.
ANNIE
No way.
GLORY
He knocked me up that night. So we got
married. That's what you do in my town,
you get married. Only I lost the baby.
She was still-born.
ANNIE
Glory, I'm sorry.
GLORY
Oh, it was probably for the best. I
wasn't ready to be a mother and he wasn't
ready to be a father and my parents
weren't being supportive. The Prom King
and I had nothing left. So we got
divorced. That's the other thing you did
in my town, you got divorced.
I hated my life, I hated myself, I hated
my parents, I hated my town, so one night
I just chucked it all. I just ran to the
bus station and bought a ticket to the
farthest, wildest place I could think of.
San Francisco! The city of free love. I
got off the bus and I knew I was home.
For months, I wandered the streets with
nothing to do. Just hanging out, meeting
people. I don't remember a damn thing.
But I was happy and I was depressed and I
was lonely and I met a million people. I
think I must have read "The Bell Jar" 50
times. And there were drugs. Lots of
drugs. People would pop pills in my mouth
and I didn't know if they were barbs or
tums. But they worked. They made me feel
better. And one day I'm at a party and
there's all these people and all these
drugs and everyone's rolling
around in
this big old run down house. And I'm on
the toilet and I am so dizzy and I'm
peeing and there is no toilet paper, just
the left over cardboard roll. So I
think,"maybe I'll just pull it apart and
use that." And I think this is pretty
bad when I am willing to wipe my vagina
with ripped cardboard. But then, like a
miracle, I see they have some paper
napkins on the sink and I reach over and
I wipe myself dry. And then this guy
walks in, no one locked the doors in
those days, and he say's,"Where's the
paper?" And I say,"They're out, I had to
use this napkin and it was the last one."
And he turns white,"You idiot, you wiped
your ass with my fucking acid!" And I'm
gonna tell him that I didn't wipe my ass,
I wiped my vagina but I could barely
speak. And he disappears and I'm getting
dizzy. I wiped my vagina with his acid.
Who knows how many hits were in me? And
I'm getting warm and dizzier. And I lock
the doors and sat back down with my
drawstring pants around my ankles. And
there in the bathroom I sat for...I don't
know how many hours. And I saw a vision.
I heard a voice. And the voice was a
mother. And she told me I was O.K. And I
just sat there smiling. And that's when
Glory was born.
Music cue-Learn to Settle for Less-The Uppity Blues Women
As the music plays Glory strikes a series of sexy and playful
poses. Glory and Annie exit as Lois and Anita enter.
SCENE: LOIS AT HOME
Lois is working at her home office as Anita opens the door.
ANITA
Knock knock!
LOIS
(seeing Anita)
Anita. Finally. Oh, it's so good to see
you! Come in.
(they hug)
Thanks for coming.
ANITA
I guess we've been avoiding each other.
LOIS
No. You've been avoiding me.
ANITA
I knew that you wouldn't approve of my
little adventure.
LOIS
Anita, how far back do we go?
ANITA
Pretty far.
LOIS
And we can still be honest with each
other, right?
ANITA
Of course.
LOIS
Can I get you something to drink?
ANITA
No, I'm fine.
LOIS
Okay.
ANITA
I'm sorry about you and Kim.
LOIS
How much has she told you?
ANITA
She just said basically that she hates
your guts.
LOIS
That's an understatement.
ANITA
Where is she staying?
LOIS
With a friend in Berkley.
ANITA
I'm sorry.
LOIS
Kim tells me that you're dating. I'm
glad.
ANITA
Annie's wonderful.
LOIS
I met her at the party. She
seemed...uh...interesting.
ANITA
So how's school going?
LOIS
It's fine.
ANITA
I'm glad.
LOIS
About this...book, Anita, I don't
understand it. It's very disturbing.
ANITA
Well, Lois, you haven't even seen it.
LOIS
Anita, I know what pornography looks
like.
ANITA
I don't want to argue about pornography?
LOIS
It's like you've stopped thinking.
ANITA
No Lois, I've started thinking. And
feeling. And having fun. I feel alive
again. It's exciting. I know what I want
to do with my life now. For the last few
years I've just felt lost, like my life
was futile and then Annie came along and
woke me up. Please don't make me the
enemy. You should be happy that I'm
happy. This book has nothing to do with
you. It's about me.
LOIS
I thought we were on the same side.
ANITA
Oh, what side? Your side.
LOIS
Our side.
ANITA
Am I a misogynist, Lois?
LOIS
Are you?
ANITA
You tell me, I know you're dying to.
LOIS
Of course you're not a misogynist!
ANITA
Then what the hell are you afraid of?
LOIS
I'm afraid of you. You're heading down a
slippery slope but you can't see it.
You're blind. This book is banality,
Anita, and it's cheap and it's dangerous
and it's beneath you and you know it.
ANITA
Am I back in school?
LOIS
Listen to me.
ANITA
This is so boring.
LOIS
Don't dismiss me.
ANITA
I'm really not interested.
LOIS
It's reckless.
ANITA
I can't believe you're lecturing me.
LOIS
It's degrading.
ANITA
I can't listen to this, anymore.
LOIS
I'm trying to talk to you.
ANITA
But you sound like a Godamned broken
record.
LOIS
But you know I'm right.
ANITA
I know you think you're right!
LOIS
I am right Anita, that's why your being
defensive. It's pornography anyway you
cut it. You're a pornographer. You're
peddling flesh. Don't pretend that
you're not. It's exploitation.
Suddenly you think you're Larry Flynt and
I don't understand it and I'm concerned.
I want you to be happy, I do. You wanna
make money? You wanna make books? You
wanna be an entrepreneur? You wanna a
run around with a hooker. Fine! Go do
it. But don't sell our friends bodies in
the process.
Anita starts to walk out.
ANITA
This is really pointless...
LOIS
Oh, that's really mature, Anita. Just
walk out in the middle of the discussion.
ANITA
This is not a discussion. It's a rant!
It's a one-woman show. I feel like I'm
back in women studies listening to you
drone on and on. I'm falling asleep
here. You're not interested in one word
I have to say!
LOIS
I've listened to every word you've said.
ANITA
You don't know how to listen. All you do
is talk and I'm sick of it. And everyone
who knows you is sick of it. You need to
shut the fuck up and get out of the way.
You're a dinosaur, Lois! Your time is
over. Your ideas are dead. You're stuck
in the past! You stopped growing the day
they gave you tenure. I remember that
day. I was there. You couldn't stop
gloating! But it was the worst thing
that ever happened to you.
LOIS
I was the first lesbian and the youngest
professor ever to be tenured in the
history of...
ANITA
Nobody cares, Lois! It's not
interesting!!! Move on. You're not a
minority anymore! Lesbians are chic!
Things are different now. It's okay to
be gay and have sex and be open and be
black! People love us! Ellen made the
cover of Time Magazine. Things are better
now. Catch up, Lois. Sex is good again.
KD Lang, Melissa Etheridge and Tracy
Chapman are loved by millions not just a
few scared dykes at a women's festival.
It's so much easier for you to hold on to
the past than to look to the future. But
it happened, we won and I wanna enjoy it.
So, join me or don't join me but don't
make me a villain and write me off.
LOIS
You are so young and so na•ve.
ANITA
Lois, I am an adult now and I am not your
student anymore.
LOIS
I don't know what you are but if it makes
you happy go be it just don't come to me
for approval.
ANITA
I did not come to you for approval.
LOIS
Then why did you come?
ANITA
I don't know.
(long pause)
All I know is that I should never have
had sex with you.
LOIS
That was a long time ago.
ANITA
Not long enough.
Anita exits, Lois sits alone on stage for a few beats.
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