SP-ONSTAGE-OFFICIAL SCRIPT
Script created with Final Draft by Final Draft, Inc.
[
bottom
]
PRE-SET
LIGHT CUE: PRE-SET
1 SCENE 1: PROLOGUE
Music cue #1 Sophisticated Boom Boom by Dead Or Alive
The audience is not allowed in to the theatre until the pre set
lights and music are on.
CAMERA: HOLLYWOOD
Pre show music plays while audience enters. A video camera
onstage on a tripod focuses on a picture of the Hollywood
sign. The camera is connected directly through a live feed to
six TV monitors onstage. On the monitors we see whatever the
camera is pointed at when the camera is on. Actor #1 who
operates the camera must remember to have a working Hi-8 tape
in the camera because each performances needs to be recorded.
If there is no tape in the camera and the record button is
not on then the camera will turn off after a few minutes and
the camera needs to remain on for long stretches. The first
image we see on the monitors is a picture of the famous
Hollywood sign. When the show is ready to start, transfer
to...
Music cue #2 Tell Me Why by Bronski Beat
LIGHT CUE:FADE TO BLACK
As the lyrics begin we fade to black. PS#1 enters and goes to a
directors chair center stage and Actor #1 goes behind him to
operate the pre-set camera. As the music plays the monitors pan
pictures of Hollywood. Finally the camera freezes on a
skyscraper shot of LA and PS#1 starts his opening monologue. A#1
and the camera should stay frozen during the PS#1 monologue
because he will be in view of the audience.
LIGHT CUE: SPOTLIGHT CENTER
2 SCENE 2: ENEMA MONO
PS#1 is sitting in a director's chair. He is wearing only
underwear. As music fades out he speaks...
PORN STAR #1
So, OK, listen to this. We were shooting a
bathroom scene. There were three guys. And
the guy that, it was an enema scene.
And the guy that was being enemaed was some
straight boy, who'd never had an enema
before in his life. So they stick this
enema nozzle up this guy's butt, and they
turn it on. And they do something
called...oh, is it called duck tailing?
It's when the water comes out of the ass
like this, and they squirt it in people's
faces. I think it's called duck tailing or
something. Anyway, it doesn't matter. So
they stick the nozzle up this guy and he
pushes it out. But, he hasn't douched
beforehand. So this shit just goes
everywhere. All over the other actors, all
over the bathroom. Now, for me, I'd be
like, that's it, I'm out of here, you find
someone else. And, can you believe...it's
like, like they just cleaned up he bathroom
and carried on. And it still smelled, and
it's like...now how can you get hard after
that? I mean don't get me wrong. I bow to
them, these people, in astonishment, that
they could do it. But personally, I can't.
I would be, like, see ya. But then, what
you have to remember is I wouldn't choose
to do an enema scene like that anyway.
3 SCENE 3: NARRATOR MONO
PS #1 exits the director's chair and the narrator, Actor #1,
takes his place and begins speaking.
A#1
Four years ago in the fall of 1995, I moved
to Los Angeles to be a filmmaker. Shortly
after I arrived I met Gino Colbert and Chi
Chi Larue. Now I'd always been a really big
fan of porn and I'd seen alot of their
movies and I mentioned to Gino that I was
interested in making a film so he invited
to me one of his sets. And I went and it
was so boring. I sat down on this couch to
watch them film a scene a scene and I fell
asleep. And when I work up I thought to
myself, this is so fascinating. Who would
have thought that a porn shoot would be
boring, but it was. And I thought this
needs to be documented. So I decided to
make a movie, a documentary about how these
things are put together, a film about the
process of shooting porn.
So I bought a camera, I hired a crew and I
started shooting. Sometimes on the set I'd
even help out, I'd help set lights, or I'd
help run errands. And for one whole year I
was totally immersed in the world of adult
videos. At the end of that year I had a
documentary. This is my movie. I hope you
like it.
Music cue #3 Just Got Lucky by Jo Boxers
4 SCENE 4: OPENING CREDITS
LIGHT CUE: BATHROOM
LIGHT CUE: BEDROOM
LIGHT CUE: CHAISE LOUNGE
LIGHT CUE: BATHROOM
LIGHT CUE: BEDROOM
LIGHT CUE: CHAISE LOUNGE
As the music plays, PS#2 appears on the bathroom set and
begins shaving. Gino Colbert enters and starts setting up his
bedroom scene. PS#3 enters and sits on the lounge chair and
starts to oil his body up, and A#1 starts to film the opening
credits. As he shoots the credits, they appear on the screen
in the following order:
CARYN HORWITZ PRESENTS
A RONNIE LARSEN FILM
SHOOTING PORN
STARRING
JASON BRANCH
BLAKE HARPER
RONNIE LARSEN
GABRIEL MACEN
J.T. SLOAN
AND
GINO COLBERT
SHOOTING PORN
Please note that the names of the actors should be changed
according to the people in the show. The monitor should stay
frozen on the words SHOOTING PORN until indicated. Actor #1
returns to the director's chair and resumes speaking.
LIGHT CUE: CENTER & WASH
5 SCENE 5: INTRO TO SETS
ACTOR #1
When you first come on the set, it's
usually like seven in the morning...believe
it or not these people wake-up very
early...the directors drag in and they're
tired...
Chi Chi rushes across the stage.
CHI
Hey girl, I'm here.
A#1 leaves the director's chair and goes over to the bedroom
set.
LIGHT CUE: BEDROOM
GINO COLBERT
First scene is in the bedroom. I need a bed
and it needs to be strong because they're
gonna fuck on it.
A#1
(to Gino)
But, where is the scene gonna take place
with the pizza? Is that in the living room
or in the bedroom?
GINO
That's in the bedroom too.
A#1
See, I think that would be better off in
the living room because that's where
they're doing all the dialogue.
GINO
I can't have three way the living room.
A#1
Why?
GINO
Where are they gonna fuck in the living
room?
A#1
The couch.
GINO
No, they'll fall between cushions and
stuff. You can't, you can't, you can't
have a three-way on a couch.
PS#1 enters with a backpack over his shoulder and heads
toward the downstage table.
PS#1
Hey, Gino, I'm here!
LIGHT CUE: PROP TABLE
GINO
Hey Peter. Come here a second.
Gino follows him down to the table and hands him the various
things needed for the shoot.
CAMERA: BLACK/LENS COVERED
GINO (CONT'D)
(handing stuff to PS#1)
Can you give this to our production
manager. All our supplies for the day.
Shaving creme, razors - I want everyone
clean shaven. What else - lube, condoms.
Mouthwash.
Fleet enemas and douches and if they don't
like Fleet, we also have Massengil
disposable douches. I think we're set.
LIGHT CUE: BEDROOM
6 SCENE 6: MAKE-UP
A#1
(to audience)
Then they have the makeup, and this is not
your normal kind of makeup, either. This
is, uh, well, they have to get their
buttholes shaved, for example. And they
have to shave around, well...they have
to...
LIGHT CUE: BATHROOM
PORN STAR #2
(to audience)
Let me demonstrate...you have to shave, you
have to shave you know around the edges of
the penis because it makes you look bigger
if you have less hair around this area. And
then we have what they call a Hitler
mustache which...
LIGHT CUE: BEDROOM
A#1
Tom Katt and Marco Rossi, they're the best
at the Hitler mustaches.
LIGHT CUE: TABLE
PS#1
See what you have to do is...you have to
shave the little hairs around the base of
the penis to look like a little smile or
what people call a Hitler mustache. And
that makes you look a whole lot bigger.
LIGHT CUE: BATHROOM
PS #2
There was this one really scary incident on
a porn shoot. We were out at Lake
Arrowhead. We shot one scene. The porn star
did his scene. The next day he shows up and
he had a shaved crotch.
I mean there was no pubic hair there
whatsoever, and the make-up guy had no fake
hair to go on there. So he had to improvise
and cut up a brush and cut up his makeup
brushes and glue pubic hair on to make it
look as close as possible. And during the
sex scene, tufts of hair were flying off
all over the place. It was a total
disaster.
LIGHT CUE: GENERAL WASH
7 SCENE 7: INTRO TO CHI-CHI'S SET
Chi Chi enters followed by A#1 with the video camera. Now we
see Chi Chi's face on the monitors as well. Chi Chi is not in
drag here.
CAMERA: ON CHI CHI
CHI
Put it away please.
A#1
Say something funny.
(Chi Chi rolls her eyes)
Say something.
CHI
I just got up.
A#1
Come on you're the star.
CHI
I do not want people watching me eat.
A#1
Just say something to all your fans out
there.
CHI
Hi darlings!
A#1
Are you excited about filming today?
CHI
(into camera)
I love every day, I love everyone.
A#1
And how'd you find this house to shoot in?
CHI
You don't stop, do you? Okay, a mutual
friend sent me pictures, and I was like,
"oh my god, this house is fabulous" And
come here honey look at this view of
downtown we got. Yeah, we're gonna do a
night shoot by the pool with all the city
lights behind us. It's gonna be amazing.
A#1
What's the name of the film?
CHI
It's called "Under Covers".
A#1
"Under Covers"?
CHI
Yes, girl, "Under Covers" - very
scandalous.
A#1
And are any famous people fans of your
work?
CHI
John Waters and Mark Almond. And I'm really
good friends with RuPaul. I send her
movies, and she'll call me up to talk about
them, like we're talking about makeup.
A#1
How often do you do drag?
CHI
Too much, you know like if I wanna go
somewhere fun like a party or premiere, I
have to do drag or I don't get noticed at
all. I'm just the fat boy in the corner
with no drag on. So, you've gotta dress
up, bitch.
A#1
And do you get turned on while your
directing your movies?
CHI
People always ask me that. No, girl,
they're my friends. It's not like I sit
behind the monitor thinking, "Oh my God,
he's so hot - I wanna suck his cock".
Please, girl, I do not get turned on.
A#1
And you don't direct in drag?
CHI
Yes, girl, I direct all my movies in drag.
I get up at five o'clock every morning and
slap on false eyelashes and a big ole wig
so I can tell the boys how to eat ass.
Please. I'm gonna tell you honestly, I
cannot imagine being in heels that long.
8 SCENE 8: TRYING ON SPEEDOS-CHI CHI'S SET
PS#2 comes out wearing yellow speedos, and models them for Chi
Chi and A#1. In his hands, he's holding an orange pair and a
grey pair.
LIGHT CUE: ADD LIGHT FOR PS#2
CAMERA: PS#2
PS#2
(interrupting A#1 and CHI)
Guys, what do you think?
CHI
Oh, girl, you look like a traffic sign. I
don't like those. What else do you have
for me?
PS#2
I've got grey and black.
CHI CHI
OK, let me see the grey and if not those,
we'll go to the black. But definitely not
the yellow.
PS#2
I personally think black is my color. What
do you think?
A#1
You want the grey cause you're more toward
the winter spectrum. Have you ever had
your colors done?
PS#2
What do you mean like to find out if I'm a
winter or a fall or...
CHI
Wait girl, you had your colors done?
A#1
Yeah, I found out I'm an autumn so I try to
stay in plaids.
CHI
Interesting. Oh no not the grey, you look
like a gay Buck Rogers. You know what, try
the black. If those don't work, go back to
the yellow but not the grey.
PS#2
Oh, yeah. Let me put these on. He tries the
new ones on.
PS#2 (CONT'D)
Are they okay in the back.
A#1
Perfect.
CHI
Yeah, you know what, girl, you're probably
a winter, uh-huh.
9 SCENE 9: DIALOGUE SEQUENCE-BOTH SETS
Gino enters.
GINO
Unfortunately, a lot of writing goes on
just minutes before the shoot.
They quickly establish two different sets, one directed by
Gino and one by Chi Chi. The camera focuses on whichever set
is active. The actors on the set that is not active should be
frozen so as not to steel focus.
LIGHT CUE: CHAISE LOUNGE
Chi Chi set.
CHI
Okay. Listen to me and I'll tell you
everything you're supposed to say. You
hold the phone up like this, be really
excited, and just like this say, "You're
not going to believe this, Darrell. He's
taking me to a strip club."
PS#3
(reciting stiffly)
"You're not going to believe this, Darrell.
He's taking me to a strip club."
CHI
Okay, girl, we need to work on that.
LIGHT CUE: WEIGHT BENCH AREA
Gino's set.
GINO
Guys, when you walk in, you're going to
take one step down. And then you're going
to say to him, "My sister's asleep
upstairs," and then say, "Shhh" and then
say, "What".
PS#1
What?
GINO
You say, "What."
PS#1
Oh. You want me to say, "what".
PS#2
Yeah, you say, "what?"
GINO
You say, "What!"
PS#1
Alright, I'll say "what!"
LIGHT CUE: CHAISE LOUNGE
Chi Chi's set.
PS#3
"You know, a Tittie bar"
CHI
Cut, cut, cut. Girl, wake up, be really
excited. Do it just like I tell you,
"You're not going to believe this Darryl,
he's taking me to a strip club." OK, go.
LIGHT CUE: WEIGHT BENCH AREA
Gino's set.
PS#2
Like take a beat?
PS#1
Oh, well this is all new information.
GINO
Right. You know Leisure Time's sets before.
You know we don't use scripts. We don't
want stories. What do we want?
PS1 & PS2
Hot sex!
LIGHT CUE: CHAISE LOUNGE
Chi Chis' set.
PS#3
"You know, a tittie bar? Girls everywhere.
It's gonna be a wild night. At least for me
anyway."
CHI
Girl, that was good.
LIGHT CUE: GENERAL WASH
They all freeze except for PS#2 who starts speaking in to the
camera. All of the following monologues are done into the
camera. The actors should start speaking right away even though
it may take the camera man a few seconds to refocus the camera
on them.
10 SCENE 10: FIRST TIME STORIES
PS#2
I'll never forget the first movie I did. I
was working with somebody who was really
big - he had a huge dick. So I was very
nervous, and it was my first time doing a
film. And it took a lot longer than I
thought it would.
PS#1
I'll tell you, it's scary at first. I mean
I've always been somewhat of an
exhibitionist so having people around me
while I was having sex wasn't that much of
a big deal. As a matter of fact on my first
set I worked with Joey Stefano. And by that
time I already knew who Joey Stefano was so
I was laying there in bed going "Joey
Stefano, Joey Stefano", you know what am I
going to do? In he walked and I thought,
gee my first film and I'm working with a
major star. And he kept winking his
butthole at me, I remember that.
PS#3
The first set was a horror story. I had
twenty guys standing around with cameras
and lights and things, and I'm supposed to
get turned on by that? And I got two other
queens standing there, and they're turned
on, and I'm like "wake up, man, wake up."
CHI
You know, when I first started, a lot of
people were like, "Oh my god, a drag
queen." You know. What does a drag queen
know about boy sex? Well, when I peel all
my make-up off, there's still a boy
underneath there somewhere, you know.
So...you know...I have a filthy fucking
mind. I can come up with nasty things to
put in videos. I, you know, I, know how to
have sex. Damn it.
PS#2
And it included dildos. Now, I don't really
play that much with dildos, but I had to
do, uh, I had to get it, you know, with the
dildo.
And then in the end, you know, the dialogue
at the end, after the sex is over, I had to
look at my boyfriend and say, "Next time
you bring a dildo home, make sure it's a
large one." And it was a large one. And
then I had to get it and throw it over my
shoulder out the window. Well, first it was
humiliating saying that line, but then I
kept missing the window.
PS#3
First time I thought my dick's broke.
What's wrong with it? Something's wrong.
I've never had it happen before. It's gotta
be broke.
GINO
(to audience)
From time to time on the porn movies,
there's hard-on problems. And most of the
problems revolve around newcomers...
CAMERA: STAY ON PS#3
PS#2
(to audience)
...because if a guy hasn't done a movie
before...
PS#1
(to audience)
...there's a good chance...
CHI
(to audience)
there's a fifty-fifty chance...
PS#1
(to audience)
...he's gonna to take a long time.
LIGHT CUE: CHAISE LOUNGE
All exit except PS#3 & A#1, who is still filming.
Music cue #4 Major Tom by Peter Schilling
The music starts loud but the drops down so we can hear the next
speech and when he is done the music volume raises again until
the next set piece is in place.
PS#3
(to camera)
It just wasn't the best first experience.
If I didn't have that strong of a will to
continue I probably wouldn't have. I
couldn't do anything. I couldn't get hard,
I couldn't, I couldn't even cum.
LIGHT CUE: BLACK
CAMERA: BLUE MONITORS
LIGHT CUE: CENTER & DARK WASH
11 SCENE 11: TRYING TO GET HARD-GINO'S SET
As the music plays, the monitors go to blue and the set for this
next scene is rolled on. After the actors are in place, the
lights come up, A#1 turns on his camera and they begin.
GINO
We want to make a really nice box, so smile
at all times! Let them know you had a good
time doing the scene. Suck in your gut,
straighten your legs, cheek to camera.
Don't lean back too much or you'll knock
over the drop. You're gonna pose for that
camera right there, that's your audience.
Okay, get hard.
PS#3
Are you going to film me while I'm getting
hard?
GINO
Yes.
PS#3
Oh, man.
He tries to get hard but he can't. 5 beats.
GINO
Are you about ready?
PS#3
Can I have just another minute, please?
GINO
Sure.
PS#3
Thank you.
He keeps trying to get hard. 5 more beats.
GINO
A couple of shots semi-hard will be okay.
PS#3
I'll just get like hard, hard, hard.
And he is still trying. 5 beats.
PS#2
Usually directors are like "get hard, now."
Most of the time they give you enough time
to do that, but sometimes they get
impatient.
Gino approaches him to arrange underwear.
GINO
You know what, we have a lot to shoot
today. What can we do to help you out?
PS#3
A Hustler magazine would be nice.
GINO
Ah, some straight porn. OK.
He hands him a straight magazine off the prop table.
PS#3 turns his back to the audience and continues to jack
off.
GINO (CONT'D)
Here you go... A reverse shot like this. I
like that underwear. Let's pull it down.
That will be our reverse shot. Okay, work
on that dick.
PS#3 continues to try and get hard.
GINO (CONT'D)
(to audience)
You know what, I don't use stunt dicks on
my sets. A lot of companies do because
they may find a model with a great face,
perfect body, but he can't get it up. So,
they use somebody else's dick for the
actual penetration.
A#1
Directors are usually called on it when a
stunt cock is used. It's one of the most
horrific things because word spreads like
wildfire when a model can't get it up.
Gino goes up to the PS#3 to pose him some more.
GINO
You know what, I know exactly how to get
through this. Let's get rid of that
magazine. Okay, turn around. Grab your
cock by the base really tight and squeeze
it. Pull it out, lower your pants a bit.
Straighten your legs. Smile. Come on.
Alright, you know what, left hand like
this, right behind the head. That's your
audience, the camera. Let's see the show.
Good, I like that. That's perfect, that's
great.
Music cue #5 Major Tom by Peter Schilling continues
LIGHT CUE: CENTER SPOT
All freeze for 5 beats while the song goes, 5-4-3-2-1 then they
exit and the set is rolled off.
CAMERA: PS#1 IN BATHROOM
LIGHT CUE: BATHROOM
The set wheels off and the lights come up on the bathroom and
the music fades out.
[
top
| next
]
Script created with Final Draft by Final Draft, Inc.