ScenesFromMyLoveLife
Script created with Final Draft by Final Draft, Inc.
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JOHN (KISSES CHRIS. MUSIC CUE. THEY STAND, SILENT FOR A
MOMENT. JOHN CROSSES R, OFFERS HAND TO CHRIS.) YOU WANT TO
GO? (CHRIS NODS HIS HEAD YES.) LET'S GO. (CHRIS TAKES
JOHN'S HAND JUST BEFORE THE FIRST LINE OF THE SONG. THEY
EXIT AS SOON AS WE HEAR "YOU WALKED IN....")
Scene 24 Getting Dressed
(As the previous scene concludes, Bill, Isaac, Steve and
Richard come out in their underwear as if coming from the
shower. They begin to get dressed. The dressing should be
timed with the music so the section looks almost
choreographed or ritualistic. They are all getting dressed
to go to Blow Buddies. Each one dresses very differently.
At the end of the music they flow directly into the sex club
and begin to cruise. The dressing should be real, not self
conscious or cutsey.
Actors should not sing or move to music. Each looks straight
ahead into an imaginary mirror. There is no interaction
between the actors. The music for getting dressed is You're
So Vain, the music for the sex club is Computer Blue.)
You walked into the Party
Like you were walking on to a yacht.
You're hat strategically placed below one eye.
You're scarf it was apricot.
You had one eye on the mirror as
You watched yourself gavotte.
And all the girls dreamed
That they'd be your partner
They'd be your partner. And
You're so vain.
You probably think this song is about you
You're so vain.
I bet you think this song is about you
Don't you? Don't you? Don't you?
You had me several years ago
When I was still quite naive.
When you said that we made
Such a pretty pair
And that you would never leave.
Well you gave away
The things you love
And one of them was me.
I had some dreams
They were clouds in my coffee
Clouds in my coffee and
You're so vain
You probably think this song is about you
You're so vain.
I bet you think this song is about you
Don't you? Don't you?
(Guitar riff.)
We went up to Saratoga
Where your horse naturally won.
Then you flew your Lear jet
To Nova Scotia
To see the total eclipse of the Sun.
Well you're where you should be all the time
And when you're not, you're with
Some underworld spy
Or the wife of a close friend
Wife of a close friend and
You're so vain.
You probably think this song is about you
You're so vain.
I bet you think this song is about you
Don't you? Don't you?
Steve, Isaac, Bill and Richard enter from L.
They turn and walk DS forming a line.
They turn to the right and check out their profiles in the
mirror.
They turn to the left and check out their other sides.
Each faces forward and does mock body building poses.
They drop the posing and Steve and Richard get pants from
offstage. Rich hands pants to Bill, Steve to Isaac. Then
all four put on pants. Steve pulls his up on "about you",
Isaac, Bill & Richard pull up pants, each on the following
"Don't you's."
Each turns and checks out his rear in the mirror.
Each puts on deodorant.
Richard and Steve get shirts off from offstage and hand them
to Bill and Isaac.
They put their shirts on.
Two blocks are placed upstage so that there are a line of
four. On blocks are 4 pairs of shoes. Each pair has a can
of mousse in it.
Steve, Isaac, Bill and Richard move back to blocks, take
mousse out of shoes. At Bill's cue, all four lift shoes at
the same time and set them down. Starting with Richard, each
throws his left shoe up in the air, catches it and then puts
it on. The shoes should go one after another as in a kick
line. Once all shoes are tied, the same thing happens with
the right shoes.
After shoes are all tied up, Steve reaches for can of mousse,
stands and moves DS to apply. He is followed by Isaac, Bill
and Richard. Richard then shifts his feet and begins sliding
off stage left. The other three follow and then the rest of
the cast, except for Chris moves across stage moussing their
hair. As Steve is out of sight at stage left, Richard
appears again at stage right. All four of the original line
then slide on from right and after checking themselves out
for another moment or two, move back to the blocks and sit
and the number is over.
Scene 25 Cruising At The Sex Club
Allen appears at L and moves to SR. As he does this the
lights go to red. He is watched by all four on blocks. As
he arrives at SR, Mike appears at UL, he moves R, crossing
behind door and stands looking at each of the four, trying to
decide if he likes any of them. The four notice him and turn
to look. When Mike's gaze gets to Richard, John appears
DL,
Mike looks to him. All four look and then shift their bodies
to get a better look. At this point there is a music cue and
all four pick up their blocks and exit. Gene enters from UR,
moves to CS. He cruises John, who immediately exits L. Gene
shifts his focus to Allen who exits R. Gene exits slowly DR
as Mike enters from UL, sees Gene and follows him off stage.
John enters from DL and moves R.
As he gets to CS, Richard enters from R. He passes John,
stops, looks back and quickly follows him off stage. Bill
enters and stands at CL. Isaac moves from CR, walks to Bill
and puts his hand on his chest. Bill knocks his hand off and
exits L. Isaac stands alone, turns to observe the action.
Gene enters DR followed a few paces behind by Mike. As he
gets to SL, he turns and walks US. Mike quickly follows,
turns and then slows down. When Gene gets US he turns and
begins crossing L. Mike follows. Gene crosses behind door,
ut stays behind door. Mike runs after him and when he gets
beyond the door, stops, confused that he has lost Gene.
After a moment he exits L. John comes on from UL leading
Richard by the chain around his neck. He gets to door, opens
it, checks to see that it is empty and brings Richard inside.
The door is left ajar and Gene pokes his head in. Richard
sees and closes the door. Gene then crosses DR. Just as he
is about to exit, Mike enters from down R and bumps into
Gene. Gene moves on and Mike stands, annoyed that the has
not been able to connect with Gene. Meanwhile John stands
with his back to the audience and Richard sinks to his knees
and simulates giving Richard a blow job. John finishes and
leaves. Richard takes a moment to recover from what has been
a rather strenuous blow job, then exits out the door and CR.
Isaac at DL and Mike at DR see each other, but as it is dark
each is unsure as to whether or not the other is worth
pursuit. Each moves tentatively towards CS. They are almost
on top of each other when they both recognize the other and
hurriedly retreat, exiting. Steve and Allen enter from DR,
move to CL and Steve begins to give Allen a blow job. As
they get on with it, the rest of the inhabitants of Blow
Buddies drifts on stage to watch and they assemble US of
Steve and Allen. After Allen is finished, Steve gets up and
as he starts to exit he sees the crowd and then Richard who
waves. Steve moves US. The rest of the assembled follow
Steve with their eyes and slowly move into position for the
monologues.
Scene 26 Blow Buddies
ISAAC I found this pamphlet in the lobby called "The Do's
and Don'ts of Safer Cocksucking", and it says: "Don't suck
dick without a condom, Don't let anyone cum in your mouth,
don't deep throat more than seven dicks a night, don't suck
two dicks in a row without rinsing after the first one, don't
suck dick if you have gingivitis, don't suck dick if you've
brushed your teeth in the last twelve hours, don't suck dick
if you've had dental work in the last three weeks." And then
at the very bottom it says "Do have fun!" Yeah, right.
ALLEN One night there was a line all the way down the block
and it reminded me of being in Russia where they stand in
line for hours for one loaf of bread. I would never stand in
line for bread. But a blow job. I mean you really can't put
a price on a good blow job. Well I guess some people can.
I've had blow jobs here that were beyond belief. I've also
had my dick chewed up, but that's another story.
BILL I'll tell you the problem with this place is that it's
not open during the week. What the hell am I supposed to on
Mondays. Have you ever tried getting your cock sucked on a
Monday night? It's impossible. My phone never rings,
there's no sex clubs. It's bullshit.
MIKE I've been coming here since this place first opened. It
used to be more fun but I think the men have gotten uglier.
Also, they always say things to me like "It's pretty hot back
there, you might want to check that sweater." They have a
dress code, they should have an ugly code. Anyone uglier
than me can't come in. But then I guess it would be empty.
But seriously, I honestly worry sometimes I think they're not
going to let me in because I don't have any tattoos and my
tits aren't pierced. I'd like to start my own sex club,
tailored to meet the needs of attractive people with nice
wardrobes. And before that I'd like to teach the world to
sing. Ha, ha, ha, ha.
RICH Some nights I'm sitting at home going out of my mind and
I think, shit. I've got to go to Blow Buddies. I've got to
get my dick sucked. But then I go and the men are so ugly
and tacky that I can't wait to leave. So I don't stay long
and I leave and as I'm walking back to my car I start feeling
this pull all over again. This feeling that I have to go
back, I have to go back. I'm always expecting the perfect
guy to walk in but he never does. And I keep thinking that
he's going to show up the minute I leave. It's that constant
hoping that is so annoying.
STEVE Last Friday I was cruising this gorgeous guy and he
gives me that look. You know, that, get over here and suck
my dick look. So we go into a booth and we're making out and
he pulls me really close and he goes "I want to eat your
pussy." And I was like Ewwww. I mean granted, I don't have
the biggest dick in the world but still. So I pretended I
didn't hear him but then he goes "Are you Daddy's little
girl?." Well, I completely lost it and I started laughing
and he goes "Why are you laughing?" And I said "I'm sorry,
I'm just not into father daughter scenes."
JOHN I've been volunteering here since it first opened. I
created all the art. I did all the murals. They're very
popular. I get a lot of compliments on them. If you come
here frequently you'll notice that every couple of months I
add something. It was my idea to hang a urinal and put
peanuts in it. Don't you think that's clever? Peanuts in a
urinal. It's very popular. They always have to refill it.
GENE Sometimes I stay her until closing time when there's
just me and three other people. And it's so peaceful.
There's a desperation in the room but also a peacefulness. I
love it. Part of it is the power of knowing that if any of
the remaining guys want to get off they have to do it with
me. But there's also an intimacy thing that I find very
exciting. Of course I find sex wonderful and all but what
really gets me off is intimacy. And most guys want to just
do it and move on. Not me. I like to savor the moment.
(Gene stands there in silence. John enters from right and
the white lights come up.)
ALLEN We're closing up. (Exits right.)
GENE All right.
Scene 27 Bulletin Board Reprise
GENE (HIS VOICE.) YEAH, I'M A VERY ATTRACTIVE GUY. I'M
5'11", 150 POUNDS, SHORT HAIR. I REALLY LIKE GETTING MY DICK
SUCKED. IF YOU ARE LOOKING TO GO OUT TONIGHT CALL GENE AT
226-1393. I'M IN THE MARINA AND THIS MESSAGE IS GOOD TILL 1
A.M. (LIGHTS CHANGE.)
Scene 28 Gene And Isaac And The Blindfolds
(A knock at the door. Gene opens it about an inch and speaks
to Isaac through the door.)
GENE Hello Isaac?
ISAAC Hello Gene?
GENE Ok Here you go. Put this on. (He hands a bandanna
through door and puts one on himself.)
ISAAC Do you have yours on?
GENE Yes. Do you have yours on?
ISAAC Um hum.
GENE Ok Give me your hand. (Isaac enters.)
ISAAC Ok. Oh, you have a nice hand.
GENE Thank you. So do you.
ISAAC Wait. Let me feel you.
GENE Hold on. I'm leading you to the couch. Just hold on.
ISAAC I thought we were going to do it in the hallway.
GENE No. We're going to talk first.
ISAAC Oh, we are?
GENE Yes we are.
ISAAC Don't you want your cock sucked?
GENE Don't be crass.
ISAAC Crass? I met you on a phone sex line.
GENE Yes. But I wouldn't... Ok Sit down, sit down. I
wouldn't have invited you over if you didn't sound
interesting.
ISAAC Do I?
GENE Aren't you?
ISAAC I hope so.
GENE Do you still have your blindfold on?
ISAAC Yes. Do you?
GENE Uh huh.
ISAAC So here we are.
GENE Yes we are. (They sit in a long silence.)
ISAAC So, have you done this before.
GENE What? Meet people from the sex line?
ISAAC No. Meet blindfolded.
GENE No. I've never done this before.
ISAAC Talk about a blind date.
GENE Oh, that's funny.
ISAAC Is this your foot?
GENE Yes.
ISAAC Nice socks.
GENE Will you rub my foot?
ISAAC Sure. (Isaac goes to floor and begins to rub foot.)
GENE Oh, that feels good.
ISAAC Good.
GENE Over more.
ISAAC Here?
GENE No, right under there. Yes. Right here, yes. Oh, that
feels good. (Isaac begins to move up the leg.) No, no. Not
yet. There's no rush. So, what do you do?
ISAAC I'm an actor.
GENE No!
ISAAC Yup. That's what I do.
GENE I'm a theater critic.
ISAAC You're kidding.
GENE No. I love the theater.
ISAAC Oh my God.
GENE What?
ISAAC What if you reviewed one of my shows?
GENE I'm actually not writing right now. I wrote for a
weekly but it's defunct.
ISAAC I'm sorry to hear that.
GENE You sound relieved.
ISAAC Just a bit. So, are you writing anything now?
GENE No. I'm starring behind the Walgreen's pharmacy counter
all day. So how are you down there?
ISAAC I'm fine. How are you?
GENE My feet are in heaven.
ISAAC Good. Are you bored?
GENE No. Why do you ask?
ISAAC Just wondering.
GENE Are you?
ISAAC No. No.
GENE Then why do you ask?
ISAAC I was just wondering if you were enjoying this.
GENE Aren't you?
ISAAC Yes. Yes.
GENE Then why did you ask?
ISAAC I was just seeing how you were.
GENE Then you must be bored.
ISAAC I'm not. I swear.
GENE Ok. Do you want to take a bath?
ISAAC Oh, I don't really like baths.
GENE You don't?
ISAAC No.
GENE Oh. Because I started one already.
ISAAC What do you mean?
GENE I put the bath salts in the bottom of the tub.
ISAAC Oh, I don't like baths.
GENE It'll be fun.
ISAAC Do I smell? Do I seem dirty?
GENE No. But you've been rubbing my foot.
ISAAC It's your foot.
GENE But it's still dirty.
ISAAC Ok (Isaac takes off blindfold, looks around
apartment.)
GENE Actually, I take baths with all my tricks. I'm really
into cleanliness.
ISAAC I am too. But I'm clean.
GENE Ok. So you don't want to take a bath?
ISAAC No.
GENE Ok. Do you still have your blindfold on?
ISAAC Yes.
GENE No you don't.
ISAAC You're right.
GENE You took it off?
ISAAC Sorry.
GENE I can't believe you took it off.
ISAAC Don't you want to take yours off?
GENE No.
ISAAC Oh.
GENE All right. (Gene takes off blindfold and they look at
each other ambiguously. Music blares, Isaac exits UL, Gene
exits UR. Allen enters from R and stacks blocks CR. During
the next scene, all enter from L and move directly to blocks.
Lights change.)
Scene 29 Getting Into Blow Buddies
ALLEN Hi. Do you have your membership card?
STEVE Yeah. Right here.
ALLEN Great. That's six bucks. Now just sign in here.
Have fun.
STEVE Thanks.
ALLEN Hi. Do you have your membership card?
GENE Right there. And I have a blow buck.
ALLEN Ok. That's five bucks.
GENE There you go.
ALLEN Hey, don't you do drag at, uh, I saw your picture in
the Sentinel.
GENE That was a terrible picture.
ALLEN Here's your card back.
GENE Ok, thanks.
ALLEN Have fun.
GENE I always do.
ALLEN Hi. Do you have your membership card?
MIKE Uh huh.
ALLEN Great. (Sniffs.) Are you wearing cologne?
MIKE No.
ALLEN Are you sure?
MIKE Of course I'm sure. I know the rules.
ALLEN Come closer. (Sniffs again.) I swear I smell
cologne.
MIKE Well, I just came from a party. Maybe I picked it up.
ALLEN Hold on. Just wait over here. (Mike moves UC) Hi.
Do you have your membership card?
ISAAC Right here.
ALLEN Great. Just sign in.
ISAAC Six bucks, right?
ALLEN Yeah. There you go. That's 1-2-3-4 out of ten. And
here's a coupon.
ISAAC Great.
ALLEN Have fun. (To Mike) I'm sorry. We have a scent free
policy that we have to strictly enforce. Otherwise we get
complaints.
MIKE Well, I'm not wearing any.
ALLEN John. Hold on. John.
MIKE Oh my God.
ALLEN Do you smell cologne?
JOHN A little. Yeah.
ALLEN I'm sorry about this.
JOHN Are you wearing cologne?
MIKE I'm not wearing cologne. I just came from a party.
JOHN Well, why don't you just take off the sweater if you
don't mind because it gets really stuffy back there and some
people's allergies are really sensitive.
MIKE Whatever. (He takes off sweater and holds it in front
of his chest, covering himself.)
ALLEN Sorry about this.
MIKE No problem. It's fine.
JOHN I'll check this for you.
MIKE That's ok, I'll check it.
ALLEN Ok. Do you have your membership card?
MIKE Right there.
ALLEN Oh, this is expired.
MIKE What?
ALLEN I'll just set you up with another one good for
another six months. (They go through the procedure, then
Bill enters.) Bill, you slut. What are you doing here?
BILL I came for the bridge tournament.
ALLEN Are we still on for tomorrow?
BILL As far as I know.
ALLEN Just go in. John's back there.
BILL Is it busy? (Bill puts on mirrored sunglasses and
stumbles into the dark club.)
ALLEN Very. (He finishes Michael's card.) Sorry for the
hassle. (Mike goes in and John comes out.) I swear he had
cologne on.
JOHN Oh, I'm sure he did.
ALLEN Did you see Bill?
JOHN No, when did he come in?
ALLEN Just now.
JOHN Great. (Richard enters.)
ALLEN Hi. Do you have your membership card? (Isaac enters
from L and goes behind door.)
RICH Right here. (Richard signs in with a great flourish as
if he is attracted to Allen.)
ALLEN Great. (Allen and John exit R. Knock at door.)
Scene 30 Isaac Visits Chris
(Chris enters buttoning up his shirt. It is late. This
scene is played in the doorway, Chris at L, Isaac R.)
ISAAC Hi. Can I come in?
CHRIS Sure. Come in.
ISAAC How are you?
CHRIS Good.
ISAAC It's been about six months, huh?
CHRIS Yeah.
ISAAC How've you been?
CHRIS Just really busy.
ISAAC Me too.
CHRIS Yeah. I bet.
ISAAC I've thought about you a lot.
CHRIS Um, um.
ISAAC I wasn't sure you'd want to see me.
CHRIS No. I've just been busy.
ISAAC Yeah. You know, I think about you a lot.
CHRIS Uh huh.
ISAAC Yeah. I feel bad how it ended.
CHRIS Uh huh.
ISAAC I just didn't mean to walk away. I'm just not great
about dealing with problems.
CHRIS Well.
ISAAC You know. I just want us to stay friends.
CHRIS Of course.
ISAAC I talked to your sister and she sort of hinted that
you didn't want to see me anymore.
CHRIS No. That's not true.
ISAAC 'Cause I miss you. I really do.
CHRIS Uh huh.
ISAAC So. Are you dating anyone?
CHRIS Yeah, but it's not really happening. It's odd. He's
positive and I'm not. I don't care but it's like he's afraid
to get close to me.
ISAAC Hmm.
CHRIS Yeah. Well, so I don't know. (Gene enters in Kimono
without wig or make-up. He stands DL and a spot comes up on
him.)
ISAAC Well, you look good.
CHRIS Thanks. I've gained weight. (Gene begins singing.)
Scene 31 Gene
GENE (SINGS.)
You've changed. The sparkle in
your eyes is gone You're smile is
just a careless yawn You're
breaking my heart you've changed.
(Isaac and Chris back away
from each other and exit.
Allen places Gene's make
up table UC, John sets
block for Gene's chair
and Steve moves blocks
from CR to DR for next
scene.)
You've changed, you're not the
angel I once knew. No need to tell
me that we're through. Yes, it's
all over now. You've changed.
(During the next two
scenes we see Gene put on
make-up and wig and
prepare for a show.)
Scene 32 Steve And Isaac Discuss
Relationships
ISAAC Two weeks later I get this letter in the mail, typed.
"Dear Isaac, I enjoyed out conversation last week but I need
to ask you to please not contact me anymore. I don't hate
you. I don't think you're a monster. It's just that I no
longer need or want what you have to offer. If I see you in
passing it will be pleasant but I don't want to develop a
casual friendship you. I hope you will understand. Chris."
And see he signed his name with a flourish and a little
smiley face. Look.
STEVE Well.
ISAAC What do you think?
STEVE I think he doesn't want to see you anymore.
ISAAC What gave you that impression?
STEVE Maybe where it says "I don't want to see you
anymore."
ISAAC Oh I see. I read that as meaning let's have lunch
next week.
STEVE You okay?
ISAAC Yes and no.
STEVE You knew it was over.
ISAAC Yeah, but he hates me.
STEVE Well.
ISAAC I didn't want him to hate me.
STEVE Well what else did you expect? He's an opera queen.
He's very dramatic.
ISAAC He's such an asshole. It has to be all or nothing
with him. I even said to his face that I'd heard he didn't
want to see me and he says no, no that's not true. And now
this. It's typed. Look it's typed. He's such a piece of
shit.
STEVE You dumped him, Isaac. You're the one who walked
away.
ISAAC I know.
STEVE It's not like you wanted to be in a relationship with
him.
ISAAC I know. It just really bothers me that we can't be
friends. We had some really fun times together.
STEVE When?
ISAAC Well, I'm sure we did although it seems to escape me
at the moment.
STEVE Just forget it.
ISAAC Where are the good men?
STEVE Where are the good men?
ISAAC Oh, please. You're a perfect catch. Why aren't the
men lining up for you?
STEVE I ask myself that every day. This is gonna sound
very egotistical, but I look at Richard. He's unemployed.
He's never on time. He's selfish. And he has numbers coming
out of his ears.
ISAAC His ass.
STEVE Why is that?
ISAAC He's good looking.
STEVE Don't you think we're good looking?
ISAAC Yes, we're good-looking.
STEVE Then why are we single?
ISAAC We're too stable. Day jobs are unattractive in this
city.
STEVE So I'll quit mine.
ISAAC You know I went to a movie last Wednesday afternoon
and it was packed. I swear nobody has a job in this city.
The Castro is busy 24 hours a day.
STEVE I feel like I'm not gay enough. Like I don't go to
the right places at the right time or I don't know the right
people.
ISAAC What to you mean?
STEVE I'm tired of the whole shebang.
ISAAC What do you mean?
STEVE The whole thing.
ISAAC You get laid all the time.
STEVE I know
ISAAC They even named a room after you at Blow Buddies.
STEVE I know. But would you slap me if I said I wanted a
boyfriend?
ISAAC No.
STEVE Because I do.
ISAAC The minute you get one you won't want him anymore.
You're just like me.
STEVE Yeah, but I want to have one. You know like on a
rent to own kind of thing.
ISAAC Did you forget to take your Prozac this morning?
STEVE Don't be mean. Don't you ever get that longing thing
happening?
ISAAC No. Chris cured me.
STEVE But you're upset about losing him.
ISAAC Not as a boyfriend. God, not as a boyfriend.
STEVE You know what I mean.
ISAAC No, I'm just sad that we're not gonna be friends
anymore.
STEVE You'll be friends again.
ISAAC No we won't.
STEVE You don't think so?
ISAAC No. It's over.
STEVE Well, that's kind of sad.
ISAAC This whole afternoon has been totally depressing.
STEVE Maybe you forgot to take your Prozac.
ISAAC I think I did.
STEVE Maybe I should date Chris now.
ISAAC I thought you wanted a good man.
STEVE I'd settle for mediocre.
ISAAC Well in that case I have a rolodex at home at home
you can go through. You'll be married at the end of the
week.
STEVE You know you're right. The minute I get in a
relationship I'll start going crazy.
ISAAC You know it's true.
STEVE What's Chris's number though?
ISAAC He actually said he's dating someone now.
STEVE Who?
ISAAC Oh some guy. I don't know.
STEVE See that is so Chris. He's always in some
relationship.
ISAAC That's what he likes. He doesn't like sex clubs or
phone sex.
STEVE He's so good.
ISAAC Isn't he?.
STEVE He's such a good homosexual.
ISAAC And he types a hundred words a minute and he votes
and he doesn't do drugs and he's not fat and he's not a fem
and he goes to bed on time.
STEVE Don't think about him.
ISAAC (Like a robot.) I won't think about him. I will not
think about Chris. I am not thinking about Chris. I will
never think about Chris again. Chris is completely and
totally out of my mind.
STEVE Very good. (Gene sings while Steve exits DR and
Richard enters CR bringing two opened Diet Cokes.)
Scene 33 Gene
GENE (SINGS.)
With one look, I can break your
heart. With one look I play every
part.
(Speaks.) Please don't fire me Mr. Lloyd-Weber, please don't
fire me.
Scene 34 Richard And Isaac Have Arcola Discussion
RICH Your old roommate had AIDS, right?
ISAAC Yes.
RICH Well did he ever take a drug called Arcola?
ISAAC Arcola? No. Why?
RICH You're gonna think I'm really stupid. But I met this
guy on the phone line and we decided to get together. And
before I went over I asked him if he was positive or
negative. And he said the last time he checked he was
negative. So I went to his house and we had sex. Safe sex
of course. All I really did was suck his dick. And he
didn't even come in my mouth. Well, afterwards I went into
the bathroom and he had three pill bottles and a seven day
counter container thing. Each little compartment had three
pills in it. So I thought oh he must take daily medication.
Of course I start to freak out.
ISAAC You're such a mess.
RICH I know, I know. It's ridiculous. I swear one of the
bottles said Arcola but I guess I misread it because on one
has ever heard of this drug.
ISAAC First of all, you're totally hysterical. And second,
you're totally hysterical.
RICH You think I'm stupid?
ISAAC No. But you get so irrational.
RICH I get scared is what I get.
ISAAC Then stop having sex.
RICH I can't do that.
ISAAC Then shut up.
RICH I can't do that either.
ISAAC Then just try to stay calm.
RICH I can't I get so crazy. Don't you ever get like this?
ISAAC Before I got tested I was a total basket case. But
then I got tested and I got a lot of relief and now I'm fine.
RICH So, you don't think I'm gonna die of AIDS?
ISAAC No, you're not.
RICH Are you sure?
ISAAC Go get tested again.
RICH That never helps.
ISAAC Richard, everybody is scared.
RICH You know. I've never lost anyone really close.
ISAAC You will.
RICH Don't say that.
ISAAC You will.
Scene 35 Gene's Third Drag Number
(Trapped in the Web of Love, Sung by Peggy Lee. This number
should have a slightly more serious tone, but not too
serious. As music starts, Gene is hit with a spotlight. He
stands, drops his kimono and throws it off stage. He then
moves DS about four feet. Allen enters from SR and removes
vanity.)
Love's a big game hunter
Who held a poison dart
I was game & you took aim
And struck me to my heart
Now I'm trapped in the web of love
Trapped in the web of love
Trapped
I'm trapped
I'm trapped in the web of love
Love's a big witch doctor
Who stirred a brew for me
I took sips from your sweet lips
And now I can't get free.
'Cause I'm trapped in the web of love
Trapped in the web of love.
Ooooh I'm trapped
I'm trapped in the web of love.
Like a bird in a cage
Flapping his wings in rage
I can't fly away
Clip my wings
'Cause I gotta stay.
Love's a big black cobra
That reared its ugly head
Got me hung with honey tongue
I wish that I were dead.
'Cause I'm trapped in the web of love
Trapped in the web of love.
Cut me down to size
With great big lovin' eyes
Mmmmmmmmmm
I'm trapped in the web of love.
Standing still.
Slowly raises right hand and points. Arm should be level but
not blocking face.
Clutches breast, (she's been shot)
Raises arms ala spider woman and strikes a pose of some
exotic sort
Walks backwards to CS cube, sits
Sitting w/ knees together, legs pointing off stage, stirs
imag. cauldron w/ both hands. Tastes brew and is disturbed
by its contents. Isaac & Richard stand, take cubes and cross
behind Gene then place them DL and exit left.
Repeat same general movements as on first chorus.
Moves DS. Movements should suggest a bird.
Steve enters from right and crossing behind Gene takes block
from CS and removes it exiting left.
Arms behind back, as if clipped.
Raise arm, it's become a viper.
Drop arms, head goes back
Slowly brings head upright
Chris & John enter from left. John sits on DL block. Chris
touches his cheek. They stare at each other for a moment
while Gene looks on. Chris backs up, exits SR.
Allen enters from left, sits next to John.
Gene strikes final pose and exits as music ends.
Scene 36 John, Allen And Bill
ALLEN So, when's the wedding?
JOHN Tomorrow if he had his way.
ALLEN Oh he sounds awful.
JOHN No he's very sweet.. I don't know. He really wants to
be in a relationship with someone and I'm not sure I do.
ALLEN So, it's not working?
JOHN Well, every time I cough he starts to worry.
ALLEN Oh.
JOHN And he goes out of his way to show how it doesn't matter
and he calls all the time and he's very aggressive. But I
don't know.
ALLEN I thought he was nice.
JOHN He is. And he's very sexy. But I don't know.
ALLEN What?
JOHN He's just too... I don't know. He really wants to be
in a relationship with someone and I'm not sure I do.
ALLEN Well, you've never been into relationships.
JOHN I know. But something about him appealed to me.
ALLEN How nice.
JOHN He was very shy when we met, but now...
ALLEN How was the opera?
JOHN That's another thing. I can't stand opera. The whole
time I was telling myself to stay awake. I kept nodding off
and then I pretended I was just cracking my neck like this.
(He demonstrates.)
ALLEN But what do you have to lose?
JOHN My freedom.
ALLEN No one's gonna take that away from you.
JOHN Sometimes I think I should settle down and stop going
out all night.
ALLEN Well, you need to take better care of yourself.
JOHN But then I just get that call of the wild and I have to
go out.
ALLEN So go.
JOHN Well that's kind of hard when I'm in a restaurant with
Chris and he has opera tickets.
ALLEN So drop him.
JOHN But I like him.
ALLEN How many times have I told you not to give your
number out at a sex club.
JOHN I know. I know. (Knock at door.)
ALLEN That's Bill.
BILL (Entering.) Hello, hello, hello?
JOHN Bill, how are you?
BILL I'm fine thank you.
JOHN You seem very up.
BILL I am. Listen I have to get to the B.A.R. by noon
because I have to drop off this ad.
ALLEN Are we still having lunch?
BILL Yeah. I'm just saying that I have to go there first.
You have to hear this. I wrote the greatest ad. It's really
short but it says it all. Listen. "BOY! CALL! NOW!" And
then I put my phone number. And look how I put an
exclamation point after every word. Very economical.
Clever, huh?
JOHN Poetry.
ALLEN It's so tough.
BILL I know. It's that whole dominant aggressive thing. I
love it. My phone is going to ring off the hook this week.
JOHN You're such a poet Bill.
BILL Fuck you. Listen, we have to get there by noon or it
gets really ugly. They lock the doors at noon and all the
late people are left standing on the sidewalk commiserating.
They're so nasty at the B.A.R. I've seen them get into
fights with guys who were pounding on the door at 12:15
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